Walking for David... A sister's story

by Kelly Strampe,

HSC Prevention

Coalition Member

Warning: This article does mention suicide. It is a personal story that emphasizes hope and healing; and seeks to reduce the stigma of talking about mental health and suicide.

This Sunday, September 22 at 5 p.m. will be the 3rd Annual Suicide Prevention Awareness Walk in Thermopolis. This is a free and family event. It will be held at the Kiwanis Washakie Shelter in Hot Springs State Park. Come together as a community and enjoy food, music, and connection. There will be lots of free materials that will help you learn about suicide and mental health. The evening culminates with a luminaries-lit walk around the park to help raise awareness of suicide prevention and to remember those we’ve lost. We will have luminaries the night of the walk, if anyone would like to make a personalized one to set out at the walk or to take home. Also, we will have a drop-in time at the Library this Thursday, Sept. 19 from 4-6 p.m. with luminaries and art supplies. Anyone is welcome to come decorate a luminary or two or three for the walk. Children wanting to make a luminary have to have an adult with them, if they are 10 and under. We know there are youth that are at the Library in the afternoons until parents pick them up after work. If you have questions, you can contact Kelly Strampe at (307) 870-2726.

Tia Gillespie of Thermopolis will be walking to honor the memory of her younger brother David, who took his life in January 2014. David was 15 years old when he passed and Tia was 17. He was her best friend and she told me “David was hilarious; he had a great sense of humor and was always making everyone laugh. He loved spending time with his family and friends, and also loved the outdoors and all it had to offer. He was in wrestling and football in school and loved playing video games at home.”

David and Tia lived in both Star Valley and Thermopolis as they were growing up. At the time of his suicide, the family was living in Star Valley. Their parents were divorced and David went back and forth living with both his mom and dad. David was living with his dad then but the siblings saw each other all the time. In fact, Tia saw him two days before his death and she said he was the “same old David – happy and joking around.” For her there were no signs that he would do something like this.

On January 28, 2014 Tia and her younger sisters were at home after school. Her mom and dad were both at work. There was a phone call and a teacher said that she just wanted Tia to know that they were there for her. She asked “What do you mean?” and the teacher quickly told her she needed to talk to her mom and dad. Around that same time her dad texted “I’m on my way to talk to you girls.”

She just remembers everyone crying as her dad told them what had happened. Her grandpa drove to Jackson where her mom was working so she wouldn’t have to drive home by herself after hearing the news. Tia says “It forever changed our lives. We weren’t the same happy go lucky family. We were broken. We didn’t know how to continue and were trying to figure out how to go on without David in our family.”

Tia went through some difficult times. Her brother was her best friend and suddenly he was gone. And it hurt. On her social media page ‘David’s Story’ she wrote: “I was going to parties and being dumb and just didn’t care anymore. Because my world was so messed up. And nothing was the same. And the ache in my heart missing my brother just was so much. I didn’t care if I graduated and had no plans for the future. Because what was a world without my brother. I was lost.”

She ended up being in a bad car accident in June of 2014. She had gotten into a vehicle with someone who was under the influence. She knew she shouldn’t do it at the time but she was also under the influence and didn’t care. They ended up in a roll over and rolled the vehicle 5 times. Luckily she and her 4 friends walked away from that alive and okay. She remembers the cop saying there should been multiple dead bodies and especially her because she should have gone through the front windshield. Of that moment she wrote on David’s Story, “I couldn’t believe how dumb I was and how we could of died. 3 weeks later I found I was pregnant. And I was broken. But I knew I had to get it together for this baby. I had to do everything to give him the best life. When I say my child saved me I mean it. He pulled me out of the dark hole I was in after losing my brother. He gave me a reason to fight and do better. And I will forever be grateful this sweet baby came to me when he did. Because I honestly can say I don’t know where I would be today without him.”

Today Tia is married to her best friend, Brody. The baby she had at 18 years old is now nine. She talks with her son Ray about his Uncle David and they share a connection over their love of video games. Her son knows how his uncle died. Brody and her had a daughter together, Evie who is 15 months old. Tia works as an operations officer at a local bank. Life is good and she knows it. Her family brings her great happiness and yet still she misses her brother. January, the month he passed, is always a hard month for her. She wishes he was here to be a part of her children’s lives. She wishes he could have seen that life would get better. She wishes he had talked to her about what he was feeling. She thinks he thought he was a tough wrestler and it was hard to say he wasn’t okay. She learned from her mom that he was on medication for anxiety. He had told his mom that he didn’t think it was working. She was going to make an appointment to get his medicine reevaluated.

With suicides, there are often so many questions, both from family and society. Why? What if? What did we miss? Why is there not more help for mental health issues? How can we encourage more people to reach out for help? What can we do as individuals and communities to help prevent suicides? Why does Wyoming have the third highest rate for suicide in our nation?

For Tia, it’s important for her and her family to walk in the Suicide Prevention and Awareness Walk this Sunday, to honor her brother and those family members and friends that others have lost. Everyone deals with suicide differently, everyone grieves differently and that’s okay. Tia told me how she chooses to live with what happened to her brother, herself and her family. “I want to talk about him. I want to keep his name out there – I don’t want him to be forgotten. I want to normalize talking about mental health and suicide. I want to give meaning to a very sad thing. I want something good to come from it.” More information about the walk can be found at http://www.hotspringscounty prevention.org or on social media at the HotSpringsCountyPrevention page.

If you are having thoughts of suicide, or know someone who is, help is available.  There is hope.  Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org . Caring professionals are there to listen and help. Conversations are free and confidential. You are not alone. If it is an emergency where there is danger of someone hurting themselves or others, please call 911 or visit the Emergency Room. If you would like to learn more about suicide prevention, the Hot Springs County Prevention Coalition offers free workshops to the community. Contact Jen Cheney at jcheney@hotsprings1.org for more information.”