Three simple words

During a conversation with a friend a few days ago, we agreed that there were times that it was difficult to tell the truth without hurting the feelings of one you might not want to hurt. The inevitable question, “Honey, does this dress make me look fat?’ for example. There’s really no way to escape from the consequences of whatever your answer might be.

As I thought about the difficulty of being truthful in all situations, about how diplomatic one can be and still convey the truth to someone who matters, it occurred to me that the hardest things to say are the shortest, and I considered several three-word phrases that we often avoid at all costs.

“I was wrong” probably is one of them; however, when the issue is unimportant or irrelevant, it trips easily off the lips and brings the conversants closer to satisfaction than practically any other response. But deepen the issue, make it important, make it a personal philosophy, and suddenly it’s the last thing that you can bear to admit because it is the other side of that equally reluctantly admitted “You are right” even though I don’t want you to be.

“I am sorry” with the emphasis on the am and not the sorry which can often carry a load of sarcasm with it. This phrase is difficult because it tries to rectify or deal with really important issues that require extreme honesty as opposed to those less serious events when “I screwed up” or “Boy (exclamations don’t count), that was stupid” will do. Unfortunately, it rarely expresses the depth of feeling equal to the nature of the pain felt by the suffering one facing the event.

The third phrase that popped up in my mind caused me to admit to myself that it was probably the most difficult when used honestly, and the most evil when used as a means of deception to an end. It rarely fails to arouse a response inwardly and outwardly, and carries the integrity and credibility of the user more than any other words I can think of. Despite the fact it has been used to trick and despicably abuse so many, and to excuse wicked activities, yet it is still recognized as the highest of virtues common to humankind.

Though it is the central support of all religions, and honored by billions of the inhabitants of this planet, it is still intensely personal and often whispered so as to confine it to only one other person, so now you know, don’t you. That wonderful, risky, scary phrase is the simple “I love you.” If it could only be used more honestly and often in our lives…!