Declaring a cease to the Tarantino banter

Gee, may I sit on your knee to be enlightened by blissful mores stories of yore? Dames knew their place, coloreds held on the back of the bus by police dogs and fire hoses, queers judged, scorned, and invisible. Sarcasm aimed at you trivializing the concerns of others makes you no martyr. Stop feigning victim like a lily-livered liberal.

Your Daily Caller conveniently made my point. Simply yeller journalism click-bait founded yesterday by a guy making easy money planting seeds of paranoia and fear while donning bow ties for pseudo-intellectual affectation. Tarantino writer’s latest? In-depth analysis of Megyn Kelly’s new hair-do. National Review? Verbatim, in context, respected 60 year-old magazine founded by conservative intellectual icon, William F. Buckley Jr.

I support, like Tarantino, necessary shootings, i.e. treasonous goldbricks in Oregon. The FBI released a video because of Daily Caller, “facts.” Calls for a despooning. If poor persecuted Lavoy innocently, “had his hands up in cooperation with the police,” as they reported, why did they fail to mention he went for his gun? Merely relentless pandering under the guise of, “overreach and tyranny.” These anti-”of-the-people,” sentiments peddled to the ignorantly unskeptical are particularly dangerous to law enforcement. Thankfully, these cameras catching specific police murdering specific unarmed citizens in specific instances also cover hind quarters when police deal with the lunatic fringe and must gun down the nutball du jour. As our other buddy Chico said, “Well, who you gonna believe? Daily Caller or your own eyes?” “Piercing,” perception? Never trust a, “Marx-ist!”

Dagnabbit, yuh reckon scribblin’ a bizarre acronym frenzy in which yuh insult vast swaths of humanity is best relegated t’duh golden olden daze? Might save you some (insert cliché) calling you out.

Retort support required a promise of no prolonged micturating contest. Seems messy, someone clutching a Daily Caller spoon in one hand, Fox in the other. I declare a cease to silliness before my wife does you a favor and kills me. Sadly, my hilarity evades her. She just wants me to cease being a, “bleeping bleep!” (You’ll just have to wonder what Twain-like twain left that station, Wascally Wabbit. I shan’t, following your heroic lead Mr. Pierce, perpetuate abomination!) I do take comfort in the fact you find me hilarious. So, in all sincerity and with my best wishes, please consider yourself retorted. I certainly do.

Russ Ferree

Editors note: This will be the final installment of the Pierce/Ferree letter to the editor discussion of Tarantino in the Independent Record. Both parties were able to write two letters to the editor on the subject.